Over the years the advancement of technology has really made things moving both in a positive and negative way. The use of cell phones and the internet has shown that social media can really affect the quality of our relationships or how we react towards dating; the toll of not only on our current relationships but also on our ability to form new relationships. Consciousness is vital when it comes to social media relationships, in this third world; money and s3x have become a top-notch before anything i.e both in teens and adults. Therefore because everyone is online, people are now using social media as the easiest platform to cheat and scam multitudes.
However, getting off social media is a challenge for many people, as a great deal of our communication happens online. If we want to remain online, but safeguard our relationships and ability to cope after a breakup, what steps can we take to make our online environment a bit safer?
1. Unfollow and/or remove your exes from social media: It is nearly impossible to get over a person if your social media feed is constantly bombarded by pictures of him/her. If your goal is to remain friends with your ex, an honest conversation with him/her noting that you need your distance while the breakup is still fresh may be worthwhile. You may choose to unfollow him/her (if an option on the platform), rather than completely removing your former flame. Muise et al. (2009) found in their study of 308 undergraduates that “Facebook may expose an individual to potentially jealousy-provoking information about their partner, which creates a feedback loop whereby heightened jealousy leads to increased surveillance of a partner’s Facebook page. Persistent surveillance results in further exposure to jealousy-provoking information” (p. 443). In order to break this cycle, try to remove yourself from social media to whatever extent possible.
2. Be aware of your online presence:
Yes, breakups can be hard, and yes, they can be very painful. However, it is important not to air any dirty laundry over the internet. What you put out there has a way of getting around and remaining public (even if swiftly deleted). If you are having a tough time, it is important to seek support from family, friends, and/or a professional. Do not solicit advice or vent about past problems to your social media communities. This may come back to haunt you. In addition, oversharing may actually alienate your other online friends. Sharing too much has been shown to decrease the quality of real-life relationships. A study with 508 Facebook users found that sharing too many selfies can actually lead to a decrease in intimacy in relationships (Houghton, Joinson, Caldwell, & Marder, 2013). The authors suggest that a certain level of censorship is necessary so as not to alienate your companions by your online behavior.
3. Carry out your new relationship(s) IRL and not through social media.
Focus less on creating the perfect social media story and enjoy the time you spend with your partner and friends in real time in the real world. If everything is distilled through a website, you aren’t making the most of the time you spend together.
While social media can be a great way to connect with those we haven’t seen in a while and keep in contact with family, co-workers, and friends, it can have some negative side effects, especially when it comes to our romantic lives. Be conscious of how you engage with social media and use it sparingly. Avoid focusing too much on the past and live your life with your current partner in a meaningful way, and not for the purpose of a “perfect” post.