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My ‘boyfriend’ is older by 19 years; is he too old for me?


I meet this guy on a dating app and we have been dating for about 5 months now.

We are cool and we manage the distance issue.

We have never seen each other.

We plan on meeting each other this coming May in Nigeria, his country. Here is my problem: I am 22 and he is older with a difference of 19 years. Also, he has a 9 year old boy and has never been married.

ven though we have our differences, we try to manage them. I have been wondering if the age difference and the 9-year-old soon is a big deal?


Dear reader,

Age is no barrier in so far as it is two consenting adults that are concerned here. So that age thing generally has no bearing on what could come out of the relationship.

Having said that, your decision now rests on your personal wishes and other factors such as the behavior of the man in question and compatibility issues. Even though you have not seen each other in real life yet, what are the things you have been able to glean off your conversations?

Have you been asking important questions in order to gauge the extent to which your core values align? If you have done this and you’re satisfied that you’re both within the same range mentally and value-wise, then I think you’ll be just good.

On the aspect of the child; this pretty much rests on just you, too. Are you cool with having a partner who has a child? If your answer is yes, why not?

Again, the possible problem is not with the fact that the man has a child but with how much maturity he has, and how well he can handle every possible issue that may come upon the relationship as a result of him being someone’s baby daddy.

So obviously, the quality of the man is what determines whether or not this is a relationship you want to continue or discontinue.

Like I said earlier, you don’t need to meet the man to decide these things; but of course, meeting him could also add context to the things you may have found out while chatting with him.

So yeah, keep your eyes peeled and carry your head along with you in this matter, instead of just your heart.


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